By Colette Aikema

Imagine a world in which human beings were unable to tell our stories. Imagine if God had not created us with the capacity to speak. What if we lacked capacity to express the depths of our life experiences? I can only imagine how trapped we would feel! Despite how difficult revealing our inner selves can be, many of us have learned the importance of telling our stories. Some stories are filled with hope and joy. Others are full of doubt and fear. And still others tell how God has purposely woven trials, suffering, and pain into the tapestries of our lives. But no matter what kind of story we tell, there is great comfort in one overriding thought—our stories are all crafted by a wise Author. He lays out the plot; more importantly, He does so in order to bring His character to bear upon the experiences he sends our way.

Whenever I prayerfully seek to create a meaningful conversation with someone I meet, I often start by asking them details about their life. I consider it a gift to be given a glimpse into the lives of my beautiful fellow image-bearers. Whether it is the woman with a vacant look who digs through garbage, the man sitting in a white office in a pressed suit, or the parent who carries a crying child, it is soon obvious that God is at work weaving His will into their stories. Blessedly, it often becomes clear that His is a work of redemption.

To be honest, I have needed to be reminded of this truth more than ever in the past few weeks. As you know, we live in unprecedented times, and sometimes even the effort to keep my head above water, emotionally and spiritually, has tempted me ask, “What’s the use?”.

Please allow me to explain. In May I spent two days listening online while the Calgary City Council received submissions about their proposed conversion therapy ban. As the hours dragged by It became clear to our team at Faith Beyond Belief that whatever the Council did, their decision would immediately determine whether Calgary Christians would be legally liable for their attempts to love our LGBTQ neighbours.

As I prepared my own submission, I became convinced that the battle against conversion therapy bans is a turning point in the narrative of the Canadian Christian community’s tepid response to the sexual revolution! How did I reach that conclusion? Well, consider this. For literally half a century pro-life workers, Christian political activists, and campus evangelists have written to warn that without a strong stand from the Christian community, a sexual apocalypse would soon be upon us. But believers have sat idly by thinking, “It isn’t real if I can’t see it.” We were warned of the spiritual dangers ahead, but still chose to do nothing. 

Along the way God sent us loved ones who gave us direct glimpses into LGBTQ life, family members, coworkers, and neighbors. Sadly, we chatted with them about everything except the elephant in the room. In other words, most of us said nothing about sexuality. We prayed—as we ought—but we kept our heads down. We sent mixed messages. We tried to say we loved them, but it was just as clear that we did not accept them. We claimed to know about sexuality but did not seek to understand the LGBTQ people, to sympathize, or even understand, their struggles. 

Meanwhile, the enemy seduced our friends and loved ones with “new” ideas about the so-called freedom of choosing one’s own sexual identity. As we basked in blissful silence, they fell to the ideology we abhorred and ignored. How could we be so blind and self-centred? It was easy. It felt good not to be touched by the pain in the LGBTQ community. And we convinced ourselves that separation was godly. Were the Israelites not warned to remain separate from the Canaanites, Hivites and Jebusites with their ungodly lifestyles? Doesn’t God intend for us to be safe, holy, and separated from the heathens and Gentiles? Lord help us all, is that not how we lived? I certainly did. 

Until God decided to ignite and redeem my personal testimony through His power.

It was the day when Gay Came Home to me personally (reference to a book title, but more on that in a moment.). Through a series of spiritual awakenings, I finally realized I had long wrestled with many of the same desires I rejected in others. In other words, I had to admit to myself that I, too, have gay and bisexual attractions, which to some would define me as being a member of the LGBTQ community. Those who know me well may gasp. Or turn away. But I do not think it matters. They do not understand that who I truly am is not defined by fleeting attractions, but by the God who made me. God has shown me through courses like The Identity Project, which is based on Scripture, that my sexual orientation, sexual feelings, and sexual attractions have no bearing on my sexual identity. Why? Because for myself and other Christians, my sexuality is not my identity. My identity is determined by who I am in Christ Jesus. 

Now comes the great irony. Because I have gay and bisexual feelings many Christians are tempted to separate themselves from me, but the fact that I live by the Biblical sexual ethic as a matter of obedience means that I, along with thousands of other Christians like me, are also rejected and discarded by the LGBTQ community. Nevertheless, my identity in Christ, and my relationship with Him, makes it possible to live in hope and joy. 

For Jesus’ sake I refuse to live in fear any longer.

Instead, I suggest that we follow the advice of an amazing follower of Christ who, despite having lesbian attractions, chooses to live the sexual ethic of Jesus. Wilna Van Beek is her name and as she explains in her wonderful book When Gay Comes Home, we in the church have generally approached issues of sexuality in one of two ways. Either we express radical rejection as we shun ‘those queers’ during Pride week. Or we embrace a radical affirmation of all gender and sexual identities. Van Beek rightly explains that neither of these approaches helps the LGBTQ person come closer to God. Instead, both approaches fail to show God’s wisdom and mercy, and risk pushing members of the gay community even further from Christ. I strongly encourage everyone to read her story, because she beautifully paves the way for us to embrace the third approach as a Christian community---the Jesus Approach.

Following the Jesus Approach means seeing LGBTQ people from Jesus’ point of view, bearers of the Divine image who live with unique weaknesses. On a personal level it is not our task to reject or affirm their sexual identity but to walk alongside, in love and truth, and offer them the ultimate identity in Christ. God clearly tells us in Scripture that our identities do not have to be shaped by our attractions. So, let me make a passionate appeal to all Canadian believers to embrace conversations about sexuality. Only then can we make the case for the goodness of God’s design for sexuality to those who most need to hear it.

I use the words love and truth deliberately because in the Christian faith these are action words. God is using our stories to be vessels of love and truth as we represent Jesus Christ to Canadians. This means we must get to work embracing God’s plan for our lives, which includes doing a very rare thing—surrendering completely to His will.

If my story has taught me anything, it is that God uses my life however He sees fit because it somehow benefits me and the greater community. He does this regardless of how I feel about His ways and regardless of how much I resist His will. Nevertheless, I am called to surrender my will to His, which is no easy task, because I know He is unafraid to use griefs, trials and even horrors, to readjust my heart to Him, to ignite my passion to serve Christ, and to redeem my story for His glory and the upbuilding of those around me. 

Surrender, then, to the great God who has a plan for you and reminds you of this incredible, never-failing truth:

Rom. 5:1 Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 We have also obtained access through Him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, 4 endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. 5 This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

If a plain Dutch girl like me can be a tool to weaken the Enemy’s plans, He can and will do mighty things through the plot He penned for you.