Parenting Through the Cultural Storms
By: Jon Rendall
I was invited to join a panel discussing Christian parenting in a time of rapidly changing cultural values. This is a broad topic, but lately, it has come up repeatedly in both my personal and professional life. For example, I recently responded to a parent who emailed FBB looking for resources on how to have difficult conversations about cultural perspectives concerning gender and sexuality. This hits very close to home for me because I’m also a parent of very young kids (Kindergarten and younger). It’s a question I often ask myself, aware that there is no straightforward playbook for these strange times.
Carl R. Trueman, the author of The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self, likens Christians to the legend of Rip Van Winkle. It’s as if we’ve been asleep for twenty years only to awaken to a world that has undergone a revolution. It’s an apt comparison. Ideas that would never have been spoken aloud in public school classrooms, the halls of parliament, or even on broadcast television twenty years ago are now established doctrines in these institutions. These cultural forces strive to educate (or miseducate) the young as early as possible, with values that are born from nihilist humanism and postmodern individual expressivism. These are no longer minor disagreements with Christian teaching; they are full-blown alternate realities.
For Christian parents, it can feel like sailing into a storm. The winds and waves grow stronger and the darkness closes in around us as we batten down the hatches and huddle our families together. We feel powerless, lost, discouraged, and may even fall into despair. The rapid pace of change has left us seemingly unprepared and ill-equipped to deal with our current circumstances, let alone whatever will come next.
However, we must remember we serve a sovereign God, who is in control even in our darkest moments. He has authority over the wind and the waves and everything else. We also must remember that in Christ we are not powerless, and our efforts are not meaningless. Quite the opposite. Parenting our children in love and truth as an act of obedience to God is one of the most important things we will ever do. But how? What are we supposed to do? I’m glad you asked. Here’s a short list of things we can do to raise kids faithfully in the face of the cultural storm.
1.Don’t Panic
In my recent interview with Leigh McLeroy, co-author of Darkroom Faith, a curriculum aimed at Christian teens dealing with difficult questions, she emphasized that Christian parents and leaders should not panic. Fear not, and put your trust in our Heavenly Father!
God loves your kids even more than you do. God cares about all of His creation. Does he not clothe the flowers and feed the sparrows? More than we can ever understand, He knows our anxieties, fears and worries. We must cast our fears before him in prayer and supplication, asking the Holy Spirit to fill us with a peace that surpasses all understanding.
2. Build The Foundation
Proverbs 13:22 says that a good parent leaves an inheritance that lasts even to their grandchildren. As Christian parents it’s not just about responding to the moment, it’s about building a lasting foundation. A financial inheritance for our grandchildren is great, but an inheritance of Godliness is insurmountably greater. The other night I told my sons the parable of the wise and foolish builders and the importance of building our lives on the rock of obedience to Jesus Christ. They won’t understand the full implications of this parable now, but I’m beginning now to build a foundation that will last for the rest of their lives. If my children know a real dollar bill like the back of their hands, they will be able to spot every counterfeit. If they know the truth of Scripture, they will be able to spot every lie.
One day we won’t be there to guide or help our children. We must pass on the torch. Our role as parents is to prepare our children for that day. We can’t know what storms they will face, but we know the timeless truth of Scripture and eternal hope in Christ. If our children build their foundation on the rock, they will be ready to face every storm through Christ who strengthens them. This is the true inheritance that will never perish, spoil, or fade.
3. Open Dialogue
As our children grow, they will begin to ask more and more questions. Think of these questions and the corresponding dialogue as valuable training time for our kids, as well as an opportunity to strengthen and deepen our relationship with them. They are processing all of the divergent ideas around them. They need to know that they have our attention and that we are willing to walk with them through the difficulties of life that they will be facing for the first time. We also need to be honest when we don’t know an answer, and dedicated enough to work with them to find it. If your children are still willing to ask difficult and uncomfortable questions into their teenage years, that is a great sign you have developed a trusting relationship. We must also ask them difficult questions as they grow older because if we don’t, someone else will.
If you don’t want to talk to your kids about sexuality, who will? By the time they leave elementary school, someone else will have educated your children on this contentious topic—the school, their friends, the internet, or whatever it may be. We need to start these conversations while they are young, keeping it age-appropriate and making sure our children know they can always talk to us.
4. Christian Community
There is no such thing as a lone-wolf disciple, and there is no lone-wolf Christian parenting. We must not parent in isolation. Instead, we must participate in the body of Christ, not just for ourselves but for our children. The church is messy, full of disagreeable human beings who all too often can wound one another. Too many of us have experienced this and have felt the pull to withdraw. However, everyone that puts their hope in Jesus is part of the family of God. Each one of us is a part of the body of Christ and our kids must discover their place in the Christian community if they are to have any hope of continuing as disciples.
We need each other now more than ever. We need the sanctification that comes from being a family that learns to love, heal, pray, and faithfully follow Jesus—together. This not only helps in the Christian education and discipleship of our kids but in helping us as parents to reorient ourselves and lean on one another.
5. Helpful Resources
We must remember that as part of the global body of Christ we can remind each other of the truth, and help one another in our discipleship journeys. Here at Faith Beyond Belief, we are working on our new and updated versions of the Identity Project and the Worldview Course. However, I would like to highlight some additional resources for parents and grandparents of children who are of various ages. Many of these resources are from trusted friends or partners.
My Heart's Garden: Help your kids discover their true identity in Christ, and overcome anxiety, fear, and insecurity, by replacing lies with the truth. Ages: 4-10
What Am I? The Human Project for Kids. Apologetics Canada. (Ages: 6-11)
Doing Family Right: Doing Family Right was birthed to help people maximize their most important relationships—marriage, family and God. Driven by the desire to provide practical, tested and Biblical advice and coaching for couples who want to do family right—God’s way—we launched with the vision of making a difference in homes and across the nations.
God Made All of Me: A Read-Aloud Story to Help Children Protect Their Bodies.
Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids.
Foundation Worldview: Build A Christian Worldview In The Formative Years
Finally, FBB is working on a version of our Identity Project curriculum aimed at kids called Identity Project: Foundations. Please join our mailing list and follow Faith Beyond Belief for all the details on that resource and more. We want to help you navigate the cultural storms as parents, students, disciples and believers. Blessings!
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