Did the Lethbridge City Council just cancel freedom of speech?
In mid-July, the Lethbridge city council passed a bylaw to ban conversion therapy, becoming the eighth Alberta jurisdiction to do so. Before the vote took place, however, the Lethbridge council took the unprecedented step of refusing to allow public testimony, either for or against. This came about even after two city councillors forced a vote on the issue. Had public testimony been allowed, FBB associate speaker and Lethbridge resident Colette Aikema was ready to share how the proposed bylaw would prevent her receiving what a few years ago turned out to be life-saving counselling. Frustrated by the council’s refusal to let her speak, Collette penned an open letter to council members to explain the potential harm they have let loose upon their city. Here is Colette’s letter.
An Open Letter to Lethbridge City Council from a trauma victim
Dear Lethbridge City Councillors,
My name is Colette Aikema, and my husband, children and I are proud Lethbridgians. I am writing this open letter to you because we love our city. We love to take our out-of-town relatives and friends through the little treasures of our windy city with its towering coulees and big heart. We love living and serving here, and it breaks our heart to see people in our city hurting.
I know each of you is in public office because you feel the same way. Watching our city stumble under the collapsing weight of deadly social issues has often brought us to tears and prayers. Thank you for taking notice of our vulnerable populations.
Recently, you passed a by-law that was meant to help one of those vulnerable populations, the LGBT community of Lethbridge. According to your discussions around the by-law, you wanted to pass a law that bans a practice that you say harms LGBT people by forcing them to change their sexual orientation through coercive or even torturous counseling, often done by religious groups. You claim “Conversion Therapy” is so dangerous, you said the city needed to pass the by-law without a public hearing to stop the practice as soon as possible. You did this despite the fact that every other jurisdiction that has passed similar bans in Canada have had or were willing to have, public hearings. This also happened despite our city manager saying that he was unaware of anyone in Lethbridge who offers “conversion therapy” or intends to do so.
“During the council vote on banning ‘conversion therapy’, it also came out that you received over 500 emails and messages on the issue, the largest number of requests ever sent to council on any issue.”
During the council vote on banning ‘conversion therapy’, it also came out that you received over 500 emails and messages on the issue, the largest number of requests ever sent to council on any issue. Many, if not most, of those who raised concerns about the ban were people like me, voters of Lethbridge. I was even initially scheduled to speak to council about this issue along with six other people, but we too were then dropped from the agenda without explanation.
I am writing this public letter to let you know what I would have shared with you if I had been given a chance to speak. During the council meeting many of you insisted that there was nothing more to learn and that you could read all the arguments on-line anyway. But as public officials, you have the responsibility to listen to your voters, those you serve, not voters from other jurisdictions. A public hearing allows all members of the public here to participate in official debate, acknowledging that you, as our elected officials, need to hear our voices before you make a decision. You need to be able to hear from people in your own city who have gone through the procedure you are banning before you ban it, people like me. I need to tell you that story so that you can learn how this ban will prevent others from getting the same help I desperately needed. This is my story.
As a teenage girl growing up I had sexual feelings, thoughts and attractions for my peers, including other girls. I became aroused at awkward times, wondered if I was gay or bi, questioned whether I was really a girl and became jittery around boys. These were all signs of my healthy sexual development.
All of that changed when I was gang raped and became hooked on Internet porn.
The trauma of the sexual assault changed the way I experienced and understood my sexuality and gender identity, and the hardcore porn I used reinforced the pain and confusion I felt after the assault. My sexual health and sense of self suffered. I could see how, for me, the porn use and trauma had caused my attractions and sexual thoughts to change and I did not want that to continue. I chose not to pursue my escalating gay and bisexual feelings because they had become triggers for me, triggers I did not consent to and did not want. I needed help and I will be forever grateful that help was available.
It was when I started going to counseling as a student at the University of Lethbridge that I was able to work through my issues with a therapist. At the U of L, I was given the therapy I asked for as a trauma victim, as a woman, and as a Christian.
“I wanted to tell you my story because the bylaw you have just passed makes the help I received illegal simply because it reduced my sexual attractions and sexual behaviors.”
I wanted to tell you my story because the bylaw you have just passed makes the help I received illegal simply because it reduced my sexual attractions and sexual behaviors. This is what worries me most about your definition of ‘conversion therapy’- the wording is so broad that you have banned therapy that LGBT individuals in Lethbridge have specifically asked for. Although you said this bylaw is about banning coercion and torture to prevent harm for members of the LGBT community, those specific words are not in the bylaw. The by-law only permits counseling that affirms someone’s sexual desires and does not protect those of us who want to reduce our own unwanted same sex behaviour. Instead I feel as though you have lumped me in with torture victims because of the counseling I chose to have. I can assure you that the counseling I underwent was not torture. Would you not agree that it was my choice and that my right to choose the counseling I want should be protected? Many would consider me a member of the LGBT community that you want to protect. Yet by passing this by-law, I, and others like me from the LGBT community, will not be able to access the same care available to other Canadians. How does that protect the freedoms of individuals like myself?
“What made me feel worse yet was Councillor Miyashiro comparing the counseling I received, with poking one’s eyes with sharp objects to improve one’s vision.”
What made me feel worse yet was Councilor Miyashiro comparing the counseling I received, with poking one’s eyes with sharp objects to improve one’s vision. When he said it, I wanted to believe he simply did not know stories like mine exist and it turns out I was right. After the council meeting I questioned him about the wording and told him my story. After a pause he said, ‘I had never thought of it like that. You have a lived experience that is valuable and you’re right. Maybe we should have changed the wording.’ This is why Councilor Hyggen and Councilor Mauro were asking for a public hearing like every other jurisdiction in Alberta – a chance for all of you to discuss the experiences of Lethbridgians like me.
I can only hope that it is because you didn’t hear from us, you started saying things that were hurtful. Councilor Crowson described the suffering of Aboriginal women when they shared their stories of truth and reconciliation. She stated, “Being forced to tell your story over and over in the hope someone will finally believe you is traumatizing.” Many of them needed counselors after sharing their testimonies. Oddly, she then used this experience to justify denying the right of people to share their stories. But her example shows the need to tell our stories, even if they are traumatic, so that others can learn from them. I would guess many of these women were still glad to tell their stories, despite the trauma they may have faced.
These brave women got a chance to tell their stories so others could understand their trauma. I was not given the opportunity to do that. It is traumatic to share personal and intimate experiences. But it is also traumatic to be told that you aren’t allowed to share your story. You made it very clear that simply sharing my testimony publicly about how counseling helped me deal with unwanted same-sex behaviour, is so offensive that it would revictimize others. I battled post-traumatic stress from these remarks afterwards and it even made me feel like the story of my trauma was my fault because it would hurt others’ feelings. I felt traumatized and victimized by you even as you claimed to speak for me.
But I wasn’t the only one told not to share my story. I am also concerned that the Christian worldview is apparently no longer welcome in the public sphere. Councilors Carlson, Miyashiro and Crowson said a few times that most emails, though polite, were from faith communities who believe homosexual behavior is wrong. Several councilors lumped believing homosexual practice is sinful with torturing gay people, as if they were the same. Stating that homosexual behaviour is wrong, in and of itself, was said to be so offensive that harm had already been done to the Lethbridge queer community. These beliefs, they said, would make people so upset that city council should prevent people with these beliefs from speaking at a public city council meeting.
Did you mean to send the message that individuals who belong to faith communities with these views, will no longer be allowed to advocate for those views in our city? Counselor Crowson used Jesus' words in Matthew 5: “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth,” to support her decision not to listen to speakers who hold opposing views at a public hearing. Do you mean to suggest that the Christians and other people of faith in our community are not meek enough to engage publicly on social issues like this? Mayor Spearman, is that what you believe about the group you work with every year for the Mayor’s Prayer Breakfast?
It is because of the deep respect and love that I have for our city, its people and all of you – Chris, Jeffrey, Ryan, Blaine, Belinda, Mark, Jeff, Joe and Rob – that I really feel I need to write this letter. I witnessed you obstruct justice and denigrate democracy and I fear you may have not even realized it. Your actions set a precedent that says if there is the potential that your opinions could hurt others’ feelings, and if we can just read your views on-line anyway, we don't need you to participate in the democratic process. Your actions silence people whose views or experiences may be different than yours because this standard can be used to silence anyone with an unpopular opinion. As democratically elected officials, you also represent people like me who have been helped by counseling for unwanted same-sex attractions. Instead of hearing our stories, your vote indicated that you don't even think we exist. And that is what is truly traumatizing.
Can I urge you to use your leadership and divinely appointed roles, to do good to all members of our community? Can you make this right by giving a public apology to your colleagues and to people in our community like me whose existence you denied - intentionally or not? I hope with all my heart that this country and our city will remain free for everyone - regardless of sexual identification or religious affiliation.
God bless you as you lead our city,
Colette Aikema
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