Does God Care About my Identity?
By Colette Aikema
At Faith Beyond Belief it is our desire to serve all people. We do this by explaining the Christian worldview, equipping Christians for conversations about our view, and helping those who are hostile to Christianity to get to know Jesus and everything He is. The Bible tells us very plainly that we serve others by doing God’s will for us in the calling He has placed upon us. One such calling, as you know, is to be an effective ambassador for Christ.
But we can’t be effective ambassadors if we do not know who we are. God expects us not just to know what identity truly means, but also where to find the right one. He wants us to become familiar with our identity and that of the people around us, and it is why He calls us to ‘live a life worthy of the calling you have received (Ephesians 4:1)’. Only then can we experience the fullness of Christ in our lives and help our friends and neighbors do the same. As Canadian society deconstructs identity issues, this is absolutely vital for Christians to clearly understand - God cares about your identity.
We will start by considering what our culture has to say about identity and go to Scripture in response. God’s design will then become a glorious contrast to what turns out to be a watered-down version of human identity.
Our culture has bought into the idea that sexuality is what defines you and, therefore, forms the basis of our identity. It is this idea that has led to the culture expecting all citizens to affirm all sexual feelings. It is the primary way we can validate what we consider to be our identity. It is a new version of an old lie from an old enemy. He came telling lies about our identity by asking questions like, ‘Did God really say you can’t be who he made you to be? Did God really say you can’t be who you deeply want to be?’ Through the intricate workings of evil ideas, sin, and their father Satan, a false promise followed these questions. ‘You will be complete when you live your true self’. In this case, ‘true self’ is a euphemism for your identity. What follows next is the need for complete affirmation of your identity as you see it. Anyone who does not affirm your identity becomes a threat to who you are.
Sam Alberry gives the best explanation of this concept that I have yet encountered. At our 2019 Be Ready Conference he explained that the world is calling us to discover our individual identity, to be true to yourself, and to persevere despite opposition or misunderstanding. So if you discover you have a gay or trans identity, we are told that this is foundationally who you are and you should not let anything or anyone get in the way of that, including religion. In other words, if you do not live out your sexual or gender identity you are damaging yourself and not being true to who you really are. By extension if we reject someone’s sexual identity, they feel rejected as a person at the most important level. “‘You are your sexuality’, says the world.” This is why it is so unbearably painful when our friends or loved ones hear disagreement when it comes to issues of identity. They are captives to a worldview that prevents them from clearly understanding what identity is. It is our task as believers to remind those around us that not everything that describes us defines us.
“But we can’t be effective ambassadors if we do not know who we are. God expects us not just to know what identity truly means, but also where to find the right one. ”
People have challenged what Scripture teaches on sexuality in various ways. Some have claimed the homosexual activity described so negatively in scripture is simply a condemnation of sexual exploitation and therefore cannot be used to argue the Bible is against same-sex relations. Others have argued that the history of heterosexuality is so short as to be negligible in its impact and not prescriptive of how humans should live. For those of our readers who grapple with queer culture and its ideas - especially its growth in the church - we want to affirm your existence and the actuality of your battle. Because we seek to deeply love as Christ did, we bring an alternative narrative that shifts the focus off our feelings and desires, deeply affected by sin, and redirects it to the risen Christ. This King Jesus calls us to a deeper understanding of identity that our culture could ever offer.
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Since Christians cannot affirm all sexual feelings (specifically those outside monogamous heterosexual marriage) we are deemed a threat and dangerous to those who see themselves through a lens of sexual identity. Though some would define me as being a member of the LGBTQ community because of my sexual feelings, I choose to be defined by the God who made me, not by the fleeting attractions that many of us have to deal with. When we have conversations about these topics, we need to make sure that we follow every harsher truth with the wisdom and power that we may not choose our sexual orientation, but we choose our identity. I have been called homophobic, abusive and transphobic merely for sharing my story, which shows how important it is for us to speak with love, grace, and truth, in that order. When we have walked with people, shown them the depth of our love and commitment to their wellbeing, then we can introduce the truth which will set us free: ‘My identity is first in Christ.’
“If you do not live out your sexual or gender identity you are damaging yourself and not being true to who you really are. ”
At FBB we encourage the church of Canada to consider this challenge: What if the church could remember the truth about identity in its behavior, to love our neighbors enough to remind them of what is good for them, not of what makes them comfortable? The church has continued to capitulate for too long on the idea that disagreement equals hate, which is contrary to Scripture. It is time for Canadian Christians to remember that when it comes to sexuality, telling the truth is to love even when it causes disagreement. Let us remember the goodness of the reality that God’s Word is ‘sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.’ (Hebrews 4:12). We must allow the Gospel to do its discerning work, not hinder it. Doing so can and will set the captives free.
The Scriptures give us the truth of the human experience and we as the church need to be reminded of its basic truths with boldness and clarity. The issues of sexuality and gender have been tip-toed around and discussed with vague notions of diversity in the church for too long. We at FBB seek to be winsome yet uncompromising in everything that we do, and we ask the church to take up its calling to be honest and clear about what Scripture teaches.
“I choose to be defined by the God who made me, not by the fleeting attractions that many of us have to deal with. ”
If we allow the culture to continue speaking the lie that you are your sexuality, sexual fulfillment and romantic fulfillment will continue to be the ultimate goal in making ourselves complete. But we must remind our fellow Canadians in our conversations that the Bible gives us a revolutionary view contrary to what we expect as human beings: Sex is not the key to making ourselves complete. Whenever progressive Christians argue that we must affirm all LGBTQ identities in order to help them live fulfilled lives, it is our job to show that they deny the fullness of Christ’s humanity. He was a sexually celibate yet fully human man. If unfulfilled sexual desires make us incomplete, what was Jesus?
We will explore these ideas of identity, sexuality and gender more in the coming months, but let us begin with accepting and embracing this Gospel truth in our discussions: our identity is found in what truly fulfills us. Instead of believing the lie of the culture and the Enemy, which suggests that living by God’s design for our sexuality we are somehow trying to deny our true selves or trying to be someone else, let us renew our commitment to choose to embrace this identity: ‘Who I truly am is in Christ.’ It is in Christ as my creator, saviour and friend.
When this is where our identity lies as Christians, we will desire to run from anything contrary to what God designed, anything that harms our relationship with Him and our neighbors. And we have the right to do so. It is for this reason that we as believers need to be free to find help living out this desire to please God. This is also why I am fighting for the right to find help so I can see myself outside of my sexual lens. I and other believers have gone through serious sexual brokenness and we need these reminders about identity and sexuality more than anyone: We are more than our sexuality, our feelings, desires and triggers. Instead of living in the nightmare of seeing ourselves through a sexual lens, we can share with others the relief of knowing that He gives us the grace to see ourselves outside of our sexuality. He takes us back to who He says we are - forgiven people whose identity is redeemed by Christ. Believers are called to understand our identity and the Reason behind it. We hope with every passing day you feel more equipped to talk about identity and faith. Our culture needs you to tell them that they are defined not by who they love, but by Who loves them.