The Power of Everyday Conversations
by Colette Aikema
I was recently reminded of something that is easy to forget. While at a Strathmore town council meeting, I found myself in the lobby with an LGBTQ+ activist who was happy to chat. When she informed me that the term ‘LGBTQ+’ is no longer appropriate because it does not include all gender and sexual identities, I asked if the government should be able to force me to accept a label I cannot embrace? After all, I have chosen to have counseling to reduce my same-sex attractions and behaviours, rather than counseling to affirm them and the conversion therapy ban the council was discussing that evening is worded in such a way as to dismiss those of us who do not wish to embrace the label “gay” or “lesbian” despite our feelings.
Sexuality, gender and orientation are hot button topics these days and it may be tempting to try to avoid such conversations, but they are so critical. I love my work with Faith Beyond Belief in part because we are the only Biblical conversation training apologetics organization in Canada. As such we continually emphasize the power of everyday conversations, of which my encounter in Strathmore reminded me.
Our goal at FBB is to ‘Equip Effective Ambassadors for Everyday Conversations.’ Like any motto or slogan, after a while we get desensitized to it, don’t we? The phrases we hear too often can almost bring us to the point of indifference. But when your motto is based on biblical principles anointed by the Spirit, the need to be reminded of how true it is becomes even more important. How else can we be re-ignited in our passion for Christ and His kingdom every day again, especially when the conversations we are called to have are often difficult? In fact, we have found that God does remind us of the reality of our motto and the truth of His Word in making this our calling.
How can the power of everyday conversations be a Biblical principle, you may wonder? I used to wonder the very same thing. Until I learned what God had in mind for us as chief evangelists for His name: we need to be ready to give an answer for the hope that we have (1 Peter 3:15). This verse presupposes that we will be in conversation with people who are not familiar with the hope of the Gospel. It’s a good reminder for those of us who prefer to keep our heads down and our beliefs private.
We can find more evidence for the power God unleashes using our conversations when we consider Jesus’ ministry. It was recently explained to me that the amount of time it would have taken our Lord Jesus to walk from Nazareth, to the Jordan river, back to Galilee, and so on and so forth, all the way to Golgotha and the cross - would be approximately one whole year worth of walking. Since we know that the total time Jesus spent in ministry was three years, that means our Savior spent one third of his entire ministry simply walking. And what was He doing as He was walking? He was talking with people. He was having conversations. We are told repeatedly in the Gospel that Jesus engaged in lifesaving work ‘as He was walking along the road’ (eg. Matt. 15:21ff; Luke 9:57; John 11:30).
This is why we emphasize the need for Christians to have good conversations. Because it is so desperately needed in the Canadian church right now. Conversations help us understand what our worldview is and the implications of it. If we as followers of Christ choose never to engage in conversations with those who have a different worldview, how will they understand what they believe and the implications of it? Do we not owe it to our neighbor to give them the chance to hear of Jesus’ saving view of the world? We need each other.
This is also why worldview evangelism is what the church of today needs, with a focus on apologetics. Every Canadian Tom, Dick and Mary has access to ‘knowing’ what ‘those Christians’ really believe. And yet Canadians’ true knowledge of the Bible is almost non-existent. Are many of us not also guilty of being self-proclaimed experts just because we follow social media or read news articles? We need to focus on knowing how to respond to the challenges and objections we will hear when we share the Christian worldview. If I were to ask you to think of a societal issue facing your community, could you tell me what worldview is implicated there? Is it the true worldview that accurately explains reality, or is it man-made?
If your community is like the majority of Canadian communities, the answer is clear and sobering and will hopefully inspire you to become intentional about having conversations as a believer. Those of us who follow Jesus have to take seriously the call from Scripture to be winsome, wholesome, gracious and rational in our responses - because we are equipped by God to do it. The church in Canada needs to realize that despite our general aversion to conflict and confrontation, we have no right to do this. In fact, we have hidden too long behind excuses like, ‘I just don’t have the words,’ or ‘I’m not good at those kinds of things,’ or ‘That’s what we have missionaries for.’
Here is where the current pandemic can teach us something significant. Despite the polarized response of the church to the COVID-19, the pandemic has made one thing abundantly clear: Christians are more than capable of having tough conversations. Believers can disagree and continue to love each other. We have been reminded in the past year that we can have very difficult conversations despite how emotional or uncomfortable it may make us feel, because we feel this is the right thing for us to do. Our challenge is to direct our conversations properly.
This was something that I also needed to be reminded of. Thankfully, God was more than willing to oblige, hence my opportunity to share my testimony with the Strathmore city council as they discussed banning conversion therapy, where I encountered the activist. After we sat down in the lobby of the Strathmore Municipal building, Melissa and I politely asked ‘which side’ of the ‘conversion therapy’ debate each was on. When it was time for me to answer, I explained that I am completely against torture and coercive therapy for LGBTQ+ individuals. It was because of this fact, I commented, that I could not support the current wording of ‘conversion therapy’ because it discriminates against LGBTQ individuals and people like myself. Although visibly uncomfortable, Melissa acknowledged how important it is for us to have the freedom to either embrace or reject societal labels. When I asked her if I should be allowed to have the therapy I asked for based on my beliefs, she was in complete agreement that I was right. ‘I’m with you, girl’, were the words she used. It was then that I remembered with certainty and clarity that God created this situation for me in order to have this simple, yet life-changing, conversation.
Now that Easter is over, it is my prayer that we take time to reflect on the conversations that Jesus died for us to have. Not only was He so consumed with love for human beings that He asked His Father to forgive His tormentors; He even spoke the words ‘It is finished’ so that we will never have to be finished our conversations that speak of Him, because His hope and salvation never ends. Let us be unafraid of talking to our friends and neighbors about this eternal joy!