By: Julie Lane

How to have a grateful heart in your home.

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My name is Julie and I am the Director of Development at Faith Beyond Belief. We were recently having our operations meeting and I shared with the team that I had written a blog a few years ago about creating a home with a grateful heart. I have given FBB permission to publish this personal blog in the hope that it will inspire you this Thanksgiving season. Thanks for reading.

April 6, 2017

There have been a lot of negatives in my life the past few years and I have made a point not to be a victim. I want to be a survivor and that is really where the idea for my blog came from.

About a year into my divorce both my kids were struggling. There was a court battle and the kids were feeling torn. They were seeing a child psychologist who really understood the situation and was amazing at giving them, as well as me, tools to help them through. She suggested that each day at supper we all name one thing that we were grateful for and that our example must have happened that day.

In the beginning, it was like pulling teeth. My children were thankful for things like “we had recess”, “my sister wasn't too annoying today”, or “mom made a supper that didn't suck”. These were not the wonderful conversations I had envisioned when the psychologist suggested the exercise. Despite being disappointed, I kept going, everyday, making them say one thing they were grateful for.

In a few weeks, on a beautiful Saturday evening, things changed. The kids got into a competition of who could come up with more things they were grateful for and, each time one said something, the other thought of more. All while I sat and counted where they were at. It was amazing! We all giggled and had more fun going through the day and how many blessings we had, than we had when they were actually happening. We were well over 100 blessings each when the kids looked at me and said, “WOW today was a good day!” I looked back at them and said, “Why was it such a good day? It was just like any other day. I think the difference is that we took the time to notice it.”

“The “grateful heart exercise” was really the start of actually creating a grateful heart in our home...but it wasn’t the end. ”

My amazing neighbor gave us a notebook that we put on the table. We called it our “Grateful Heart Notebook”. I ate cold suppers for months because I was busy writing down what my children were thankful for in that notebook while they ate. I still have that notebook. It is such a blessing that we will treasure it forever. The “grateful heart exercise” was really the start of actually creating a grateful heart in our home...but it wasn't the end.

Any parent out there, single or not, knows that there are days that are more challenging than others. As parents, our children model our behavior and we need to be aware of that at all times. I needed to show my children, for weeks, what I was thankful for. I needed to point out things that happened each day. I needed to teach them to see the truly amazing life that we have and stop focusing on the negative.

Yes, some days I felt like I was shining a dim light in a very dark cave, but I did it and I found some amazing jewels.